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7.21.2009

Sleepovers



What is your take on sleepovers? When I was younger sleepovers were very special and very frequent. I can't remember exactly the first time I participated in a sleepover but I believe I was around 6 or 7 years old.

I have mixed emotions about sleepovers but for the most part I am against them. I've heard stories of abuse that have occurred during a sleepover even in "religious" or "stable" homes by an older brother or their friends. I think sleepovers were (for the most part) a fun part of my childhood and maybe I'm being overly protective but I'd really like my children home for the sleeping part. What do you think of them? At what age would you let your child sleepover at a friends house?

Luckily, I haven't had to really decide our stance yet since my oldest is only 4. I would be fine hosting a sleepover in my home but I know that's not fair to other families and it would send mixed messages to our children. The only answer I have for now is to allow my child to attend the sleepover party but always have an "excuse" to pick them up at around 11pm and bring them back home. Am I a party pooper?!

9 comments:

Jen said...

I grew up going to sleep overs as well, and the reality is that some negative things did happen when I was at them.

My children are 8 and up now and I have never allowed them to sleep over at their friend's houses. I allow them to have what we call late nights, but they can't sleep over and we have never budged on that. I think it is good to make a decision about it while they are young and stick to it, then there is no question later. We have never had sleep overs here either, but friends come and stay late, then go home.

As far as what age I would let a child stay over at a friend's house, I won't let any age and I do have teenagers right now. In fact, I would say teenagers can get in a whole lot more trouble than the younger ones at a sleepover, especially if they have open access to computers, TV, etc. at the person's house.

Anyway, my kids have not argued too much about this issue because they know it is non-negotiable, so it really hasn't been a big deal for our family. Again, I would make the decision while they are young though and stick to it if you don't want issues later.

Cassi said...

I feel exactly the same way!! I loved sleepovers when I was little but now they kind of freak me out! I would be happy to have my kids have sleepovers here and if I knew the family pretty well and was good friends with them myself then I would be ok with my kids sleeping over but if it's just a friend from school and I don't know the parents very well, I'm not comfortable with that.
It's sad because I loved sleepovers too.

Andrea said...

I don't know why this topic is all he sudden popular but I recently saw it on another blog too!!! So my mykl will be 4 next week and about a month ago she asked if a friend could spend the night. I am all for the spending to happen at my house so that I can supervise and make sure they are ok. But when it comes to going to someone elses house it scares the crap out of me!! This day and age is lots different from the time that we as moms were younger and attending sleep overs!!! So yes to them at my house and not so much going somewhere else!!! Unless maybe I know the mom and dad???
And where do they come up with this?! My 4 year old asking? It's crazy!

Hoenesclan said...

Ditto to everything said. If you ask me right now, the answer is NO NO NO. For the same reasons as you. Now, if some special family comes into our lives like next door neighbors that we are close with. I may allow that, but it would have to be a next door neighbor where I am close by. I like the late night idea though. I think she's right about making the decision now. I just hate to not let my girls do something I loved so much.....

Anonymous said...

In today's world sleepovers are NOT a smart idea!!!
A close family member was sexually abused by a trusted member of the church at a sleepover. It started when he was 8 and continued for years after. I cannot express to you how it has destroyed him. He will never recover from the traumatic fear and self hatred that came from his experience.
Many of you moms have expressed a feeling that you're safe by having other kids spend the night at your place under your protection. I've had a friend that was arrested for sexually abusing a child at a sleepover when in the end the child confessed that it was an act to get attention! So either way, Sleepovers are not smart! My opinion anyway.
In the world today you really need to keep your children close at all times. Satan lurks everywhere!

The Mortensens said...

I agree with everything said, I don't think sleepovers are the greatest idea. We spent a lot of time as kids at sleepovers, sleeping outside on the trampoline, and living like nothing would ever happen to us! Sadly, I don't think you can do that anymore. The only way I would allow a sleepover at either my house or someone else's would be if I knew the kids really well, knew the parents really well, and if there weren't going to be a whole mass of people staying over. Even then, it is iffy that I would allow it. It's sad to not feel trusting, but there are other reasons for no sleepovers too. My mom hated sleepovers because we were all horribly tired the next day, often got sick from them, and never had any sort of supervision. So, I guess I'm saying "no" to sleepovers.... good question Shalee!

Aimee Sommer said...

Sleepovers have some of my fondest memories of childhood! My parents were very selective of who's house I could sleep over at. We lived in a very small town and my friends' parents were also my parents friends so I had about 2 people that I could go to there hosue.. on the other hand I had a few friends that parents weren't exatly involved in there kids lives as much as mine were so I couldn't go to there house!
I will defonatly be letting my kids have sleepovers but only if I have known the family for quite sometime and feel completely comfortable.. there will be no just meet them and sleep over kind of stuff!!

Janalee said...

Scary! Instead of sleepovers with friends we could have sleepovers with siblings (we were spread throughout 4 bedrooms) outside in tents with our dad, out on the deck, in the living room, or all in one bedroom. Friends were not allowed over, but we had just as much fun without the negative peer pressure.
Sleepovers were considered if we were invited for a Birthday party, but usually we were picked up at 10:00.
But today?? To scary! I'll keep my kids safe at hand and close to home. No sleepovers. Except maybe at Grandma's house with the cousins!

The Paynes said...

I am sad to see this go away, but I have to agree. I allow cousin sleep overs with the ones I trust the most, but neighbors are almost never known for long, unlike some family who you've grown up with your whole life. I loved sleepovers. But that's just the way the world is going.