I think this post is better called "quirks" of the trade, rather than "tricks" of the trade. This past week, I've really felt like a "frumpy" mom.... you know the kind where you don't shower until just before bed, and you stay in your sweats all day? Most days, I feel like I'm just a cleaning lady, cleaning messes around my house, cleaning bums, cleaning my kitchen, doing my dishes, and I clean apts. on the side here at our complex. This week was no exception. So.... every evening about when my husband was getting home, I'd run into my room, check myself out in the mirror, and wish I'd showered or at least gotten dressed. My husband loves me unconditionally, and doesn't really care what I look like when he gets home, but I care how I look for him, as well as how my house looks, for him.
So my question for all of you - is there something you do everyday (besides getting dressed and looking fabulous) to make your home a little sweeter before your hubby gets home? I feel like a good homecoming for my husband is really important to me, it sets the tone, and the mood for the rest of the evening. If he comes home to a disaster, I feel like our evening is chaotic and not relaxing at all, but if I get the living room and kitchen at least somewhat picked up, it gives him the feeling/chance to feel relaxed and play with Will, or do something as a family, instead of worrying about what I didn't get done. I had a friend whose Mom would vacuum the floor and put on lipstick, daily before her husband got home. I definately don't vacuum everyday, and I don't really wear lipstick, but I do try to pick up some toys and have the dishes done :). Is there something all you cute moms out there do to make your evenings, or when your husband gets home a little sweeter?
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9 comments:
My hubby is a first year Law Student and we hardly ever see him at home. When he is home he tries to aleviate my load by tidying up the house. So, if I am to get any real time at home with him I have to make sure everything's at least tidy before he gets home. That means a quick run through the house with an empty laundry basket and throw everything in it that's out of place then shove it in a closet or basement where he can't emediately see it. My 3 year old LOVES this game because when she needs something to do I get out the basket of stuff (usully her toys and messes) and if she can put everything away by herself she gets a treat. Everyone wins!
Another thing I do is get out the games or coloring books so my girls can have daddy time, too. Usually if he's home it's to hang out for a few minutes then it's back to the school to study. So if I can make the most of the time he's here, then we are all much happier.
As for the whole "frumpy mom" look in the sweats and no shower- no matter what my mood is I put a smile on my face and it totally sets a sweet tone in the home, even if I smell like bleach and have a streak of ketchup down my shirt from the little one throwing a chiken nugget at me for lunch! You've got to be happy he's home and he'll be happy to be home!
Ugh, Kara. I know this feeling so well. The hard part for me is that if I don't feel good about myself (how I look, what I have actually accomplished, how Anthony and I are treating each other) that day, I even have a bad attitude toward Tony that evening. This may sound selfish, but I find that instead of trying to overwork myself, if I take the few minutes when both kids are asleep in the afternoon to do something I really enjoy, I am less frustrated with the rest of my day. It gives me something to look forward to throughout the morning, and something to talk to Tony about besides cleaning and baby poop stories.
Me too! I know exactly what you're talking about! And the problem I find is that when Brian finally does come home I view it more like "Oh finally my helper is here" rather than "yay Brian's home". So I've really been trying to remember that he's been working all day too and it won't help anyone for me to unleash all the chaos of the day onto him right when he walks in the door.
Since we are in such a small space with 3 kids it gets cluttered SOOOO fast so if I was going to try and keep it clean all day I would be just following my kids around cleaning up after them constantly. So I have them clean up the toys they play with but really I just wait until they are in bed to really pick up. But I've found that if I just get dressed and put a little makeup on in the morning I feel better the whole day. It's the days when I don't get dressed and don't get my kids dressed at all that I'm more lazy and more gurmpy. It also helps when we have somewhere fun to go, like a playgroup, or an activity planned then we are forced to get up and ready and when we get are done the day is half over already!
And like Jill said, I think it helps to do things for yourself during the day too.
For us it ends up being all about the attitude me and the kids have when Brian comes home.
Oh and one more thing... what actually makes things the sweetest when Brian gets home isn't if it's clean or if I'm looking good, but if dinner is ready! If I have dinner all ready by the time he comes in it makes the whole night SOOO much better for some reason!
Wait, you mean I'm not supposed to be scowling at my husband when he walks through the front door and smiles at me while I stand there in my pajamas surrounded by toys, dirty dishes from breakfast and lunch, books, and random mixing bowls from my kitchen that my son likes to get out and disperse throughout the house????!!! Oh boy!
I wait until 10 minutes before Jeremy gets home and then I quickly clean up everything in the house at warp speed. I would consider lip stick but then I wouldn't get a kiss because he hates the stuff getting on him. I have no good ideas...but this is definitely a trade I need to work on...keep your suggestions coming! And good tricks of the trade Kara!
Dinner on the table is a winner! Trent doesn't care what I look like, but if we can all sit on the porch swing for the first 5 minutes he's home, it helps him transition into Dad mode. I can't do makeup cause he hates kissing me with it too. But if I just wear matching clothes and have my hair brushed, it works for him. Men are easy, there's really just two things they love, and dinner on the table is a great start!
These are great suggestions. I can totally agree with dinner!! That seems to always make things more pleasant. And Cassi, I am right there with you and feeling like "ahhhh, my helper is here" - it's hard not to just make them take over, or at least expect them too.
Thanks for the suggestions, this has been very helpful!
I always make a big deal when I hear Dave pull into the drive way. I exclaim, "Guess who's home?? Daddy's home!" Charlie always runs to the door and is always happy to see his Dad. Sometimes I have music playing and I'm making dinner in the kitchen. I always make sure he gets a hug and a kiss. I know though, that I can do better and not be demanding his help as soon as he gets home. He needs time to unwind, (go to the bathroom) etc.
Must be nice to have your husband home for dinner. I make sure the house is clean and I have minty gum in my mouth, bring on the kissin!! :) I meet him at the door and be sure to be in a good mood, his mood is always better if mine is better. If the house is clean when he gets home then its clean in the morning when we get up..then I'm in a better mood and by default so is he.
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