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4.21.2009

Tricks of the Trade Question

My husband and I have been talking about baby #5 recently, and we keep going back and forth about when's a good time to stop having kids(especially when the 4 we already have are being naughty!). As members of the LDS Church, we know how important families are and we want to have a large family, but when do you get to the point that you know you are done? I'm only 26, and would hate to stop now, only to change my mind later and have a baby in my mid 30's while my other children are so much older. Has anyone out there completed their families? How did you know you were done? How many is a good number? I've heard some people like an odd number. I think 5 is gonna be my limit, but is it just a "wait and see"? What do you think? How many kids is a good number?

6 comments:

Shannon said...

Wow!! I can't believe you're only 26 & have 4 already!! You amaze me. I have 2 & would like one more & I'm 31. I say go with your gut(you know what I mean) I want 1 more because I am not done but my husband is not on the same page yet. You'll know. You are a wonderful person for being able to have a big family. I think it's great.

cannwin said...

As soon as I saw that I thought, this has to be Erika. LOL. She has twins, that's how she got to five so young.

I'm surprised people like having odd numbers. I'm a fan of even numbers and this is my reasoning. No one gets left out. There isn't any problems with two of them running off together and leaving the last one behind.

It think that this one will be our last. I just don't feel that there are any more waiting, but that may change some day and I'm not going to go to extremes to make sure it doesn't happen. Just go with your body and your heart. And if you ever feel like someone's missing then maybe you ought to start praying about it again.

I think if you are open about it you will be able to tell if you want another.

But if there is a big gap the little one is going to get babied. There's a five year gap in our kids and boy does our two year old get away with stuff... he still drinks from a bottle!

Janalee said...

My mom had this little snippet of her reasons for having 7.
1 - Only child - cruel and unusual punishment (referring to solitary confinement in a prison-no one to play with)
2 - They'll never get along
3 - "Three's a crowd", you don't want someone left out
4 - After four, what's one more?


She had seven. She miscarried her last pregnancy which was very hard on her, but then I got married and she finally felt like she was done because her oldest daughter was on her way to having kids = GRANDKIDS!!!

Cassi said...

Interesting question! Not sure I can say for sure since I'm not done having kids yet, but I've always thought I would just kind of know. Either I wouldn't be able to handle anymore or I'd feel a sense of completeness in our family.
I think things can change too. So you could feel done for a few years and then suddenly feel like maybe there's one more.

SWIRL said...

I asked my mom this same question a few years ago...
she gave me these words of wisdom...

"You know you are done having kids when you go one over your limit."

I hit that mark with my fourth son... he is so rascally and life is so hectic with tween years and trying to keep a baby on a schedule.. the thought of adding one more in the mix is toooooooo overwhelming.

The Paynes said...

Thanks guys, you are making me laugh. I love Janalee's method. What's one more? Also, that sanity level thing changes on a daily basis, sometimes my almost 2 yr old drives me to that place and sometimes I think I could never get enough of him. I think Heavenly Father made babies cute for just this very reason. Now why he made 6 yr olds? Hmmm.