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3.23.2008
This weeks Tricks of the Trade..please help me
So we have lived in this duplex for 3 months now and have really loved it, its in a really nice quiet neighborhood with a fantastic ward we even have our own back yard that is fenced in. However on the side that is connected to the other sides yard has a gate. Which hasn't been a problem while its been cold, but now that its warm and beautiful out its causing problems. I really don't know how to deal with it. So this is where you come in, please help me. The other day I was doing yard work in the front of the house, my girls were playing together in the back yard and I hear my neighbors mother come out with the 18 month old little boy and I hear her ask him if she wants to go play. So she opens the gate and comes on over and starts playing with the girls...eventually she (the grandmother) works her way up to me in the front yard and starts talking my ear off, I kept weeding and trying to hide my annoyance. Finally I finish the flower bed I was working in (aren't you MN people jealous that we can do that here in Utah, okay just kidding) and say "well we are going in now for dinner" so she finally leaves. Then that night after dinner Mikelle wanted to go outside and play for 10 minutes before bed. So we go out and Mikelle is playing with her ball and I'm pushing Kaylee in her swing, and go figure the Grandma comes out with the little boy and then he rams his truck into the gate so his grandma says "you want to go play" and opens the gate. Never asks if its okay just does it. I was so annoyed, I hope I was civil but I was so annoyed that I don't know if I pulled it off. We only had 10 minutes so we came in shortly after. I shut the gate on our way trying to get a message across. Now get this, we weren't home at all friday so didn't play outside at all, so Saturday when Mike was hiding Easter Eggs the gate was wide open (it can't just blow open) Then today, 2 days after they opened the gate, she emails me and says that on friday her little boy opened the gate came in our yard and she didn't feel well enough to get him out so she let him play in my yard. What should I do? I don't want to have to play with them every time I take my girls outside. Shouldn't they be able to play in their yard and us in ours and not play together? What should I do/say that isn't totally rude, after all I have to live next to them. But I can't handle all summer going on like this. So please help me!!!!!
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6 comments:
Wow this is a tough one. If I were you I would have to have a talk with them. It doesn't sound like she is getting your hints. Another thing that scares me is that if he were to get hurt while he was playing would they sue you? Just looking out for you but it sounds to me like you will have to tell them straight out.
Can you put a lock on the gate latch?
You could get a dog and then put a lock on the gate and say it's because you want to make sure the dog doesn't get out! haha, ok maybe that's a stretch. But if you have her email address maybe you could just send her a simple email saying you like to have rules about "friend time" with your girls and you'd appreciate it if they could ask first before coming over or even come to the front door and ask to play instead of helping themselves to your backyard. If it's an email maybe it wouldn't seem as confrontational as a phone call.
It would really bother me if they were playing in my yard when we weren't even out there to play with so I would definitely reply to her email and tell her your not comfortable with that! And if he keeps playing in your yard without you there then I don't think you should feel bad putting a lock on the gate at all!
I have this same exact prob with the neighbor across the street. She is a grandma to this 5 yr old boy who every Fri and Sat comes over to our house. Normally it would be easy to say "No", but the grandparent doesnt't even ask anymore, just sends the kid over EVERY weekend. This is my time to get stuff done and I don't want to watch anyone's kid. Especially since my little ones are usually sleeping and he likes to come in the house. We are always working outside those days and so he just comes into our backyard and starts playing. Then he has to go the bathroom and needs a drink. He's not a bad kid, but I have 4 kids of my own and don't need any more. I am too chicken to say anything, but then am quietly angry when he pesters me with tattle telling. 3 5 yr old boys is too many! I also don't want to cause stress with the neighbors. I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!!!
Talk to her! E-mail or call. I think as a mom herself she would understand your position and respect your need to have boundaries for your kids.
As for the mommie with the grandma across the street-Are you charging her for babysitting? Maybe you should send your lot over to her house before she does so she can get a sense of what your day is like!
Best of luck! Just remember that sometimes we need to do that which is best for our family! And that includes keeping your sanity!
Ok, so my husband thinks that you should try and share the gospel with them. He says it will either work out great and they will join the church and hopefully be more respectful or they will be scared off. I thought it was a funny idea!!
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